- Independent UK Promoting

COG Review - 4/10/08 (Auto Dropouts/Pope Joan/C.t.B.W./Panama Kings)

Club Night Review

Saturday 4^th October at the Metro, Oxford Street

Bands: Auto Dropouts, Pope Joan, Cut the Blue Wire, Panama Kings

OK, here’s how it goes. Boy meets girl. Girl has a cyst on her left armpit. Boy operates on the cyst, discovers a massive widespread cancer, gives girl the news. Girl cries. Girl’s family surround her as she falls into an eternal sleep. Boy feels guilty that he took advantage of girl’s fragile mental state over her last few weeks in order to secure a personal loan against her name. How do you make the boy feel better? By presenting him the opportunity to listen to the best up-and-coming bands this side of the iron curtain on the first and third Saturdays of the month of course! Luckily Club COG provides such a treat for hospital opportunists everywhere (within travelling distance to the West End), and presented an evening of wholesome fun that washed many a sin away this Saturday just gone.

But of course, even great institutions like COG can be misinformed and conned sometimes. There was some trickery regarding the first band for sure. The Auto Dropouts came all the way from Sweden to play only several gigs in ol’ Blighty. They came with a reputation as a promising, fun-loving indie group, and they came with a sizeable amount of fans. Then things went horribly, horribly wrong.

The Auto Dropouts are so bizarre they can easily be split into two groups. The band on myspace do indeed play decent middle-tempo indie with personality. They appear to have a less naive view of alternative English music than previous Scandinavian pop exports like the Cardigans or the Hives, although they may lack the consistency in quality. Certainly, tracks like ‘Poor Material’ and the Oasis-style ‘Myrna Minkoff’ are, despite some questionable lyrics, cut-above indie songs that smack of melody and class.

The live band that appeared on stage were the worst band to have ever performed at the Metro. Appearing barely competent enough to play standard riffs, their songs were of the most appalling blandness they created an intellect-vacuum around them. Dribbling, lobotomised dullards tried to crawl on broken glass, hoping one was long and sharp enough to pierce their ear drums and end their agony.

The pretty-boy blonde singer – Nina Persson’s male counterpart – couldn’t even hit the high notes, sounding like a lab rat at the mercy of a pervert with a tube of lipstick every time he went anywhere near soprano. Their all-too-relaxed banter in between songs was cringeworthy in its arrogance and pretentiousness. In a perfect world they’d have been stoned off stage, which would probably explain such a poor performance.

Massive amounts of drugs aside, the Auto Dropouts went well past anger in terms of their performance. Bafflement and shock were the orders of the day, especially when considering their rather pleasing myspace collection. Strange. But not as strange as the next band.

Pope Joan came on and were excellent. They were a four piece of intelligent catchy indie rock the kind Club COG is known for. Their lead singer sounded a little and sung a lot like Kele Okelele, their lead guitarist played like Russell Lissack, their bass player like Gordon Moakes and their drummer like Matt Tong. Did I mention they sound like Bloc Party? They sound like Bloc Party performing the songs of Bloc Party.

Never has a band stolen so much from so few in such a short amount of time. The angular beats, the stop-start riffs, the punchy vocals are all there in a collection of songs that should be entitled ‘Silent Alarm Part 2’. But the problem is they do it so bloody well. They have personality and vibe on stage, and have composed and perform an excellent, consistent back catalogue.

They seem to cater exclusively for the market of people upset with Bloc Party’s direction after their first album, but want to listen to different songs than what’s on Silent Alarm. That’s a big market. And good luck to them, because yours truly belongs to that market and will be buying whatever Pope Joan’s selling, whether it’s a cheap knock-off or not. Great stuff.

A few minutes after they were applauded off stage, Cut the Blue Wire started their relentless set of post-punk numbers - mixed with electro pop synth. Fly magazine compared them to At the Drive-In. Allow me to let you in on a rule regarding reviews: no matter what situation arises and no matter who the band is, you never, NEVER compare them to the greatest band ever in the history of the multi-verse.

You can hear elements of ATD-I in the CTBW’s work the same way you can smell elements of your dinner from a fart. They’re not bad actually, but the comparison is laughable. Try 100 Reasons or 36 Crazy Fists – you know, average but forgetful bands with numbers in their names for the ‘I’m getting tired of Linkin Park’ generation.

Some of their songs, particularly future hit ‘Everest’, are progressive, soaring hardcore punk bombs of the highest order, but their one-paced attitude and the generic quality of the singer’s voice makes them tiresome past 20 minutes. While rocking out quite energetically, there’s an air of sheltered well-off kids recreating their heroes’ hits about them, and it’s unfortunate that with only a couple of exceptions the addition of the synth doesn’t work at all – instead serving to homogenise their sound from stripped, punchy rock to coming across as the Bravery’s darker, rawer cousins. It’s not bad stuff, but it’s a little misguided and has the potential to be so much better.

It was time for the headliners to take a rather good, if a tad discordant evening and turn it into a memorable one. And the Panama Kings did. The Oirish power-indie quartet produced the refined and self-assured display of a big band. Their catchy yet understated songs were thought-provoking yet urgent, all served up with the lead singer’s distinctive high-pitched vocals that wail and flow and contrast beautifully with the solid indie rock. In fact there are times when his well-judged warbling saves them from generic indie oblivion, but mostly it’s the added gravy to their prime cuts of meaty pop.

They’ve had comparisons with Modest Mouse and the Pixies (another ludicrous attempt at over-hype), but they also draw likenesses with contemporaries like Interpol and Maximo Park, as well as Britpop obsoletes the Longpigs on occasion. However it’s the quirkier bands like the Spinto Band and Clap Your Hands Say Yeah that they share their atmosphere and singing style with.

Critics have pointed out to the big-hit quality of ‘Your Children Are Screaming’, but it’s also tracks like the relaxed ‘Young Blood’ and the 80’s influenced ‘Where’s Your Sense of Urgency’ that stand them out from the pack. Altogether it was an excellent set from the soon-to-be Radio 6 regulars. I’m off to the intensive care unit of my local NHS, with a spring in my step and a codicil in my pocket. Until next time,

Muhammad Odeh